


The Hidden Face

by CloudyBear



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Boarding School, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5929744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudyBear/pseuds/CloudyBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Lester has always been bullied, and mostly by a particular brown haired boy with coffee coloured eyes. When he finally goes to boarding school, hoping to have a fresh start and forgetting about his not so enjoyable past, he gets an unhappy surprise when he finds out who's going to be his roommate for the rest of the year... </p><p>(A/N: This is in no way 'original', it's just that I love these kind of stories, so I decided to write one ^^)</p><p>(This is purely a work of fiction.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first ever fic, so it's really bad so I'm sorry. I think it's a terrible choice that I started off with a chaptered one, but I have so... Enjoy...?

 Ever since he'd started school when he was a little child, Phil had always been bullied and never had any friends . He'd never done anything wrong, no. Maybe it was just his shyness, that didn't make him do the first step when trying to make a friend, or maybe his harmless and innocent looking face, that made him a target to bullies in every single school he went to.

 Phil never really knew why he was victimised as such, but what he did know, was that he hated those years of pain, so damn much. How he had to hide his bruises from his mum once he got back home, how he had to lie to her when she asked why he was late and how he couldn't help but to cry at nighttime, when the pain and reality of his unlucky situation became too much.

He hated those years with _sweet passion_.

  And you see, Phil had discovered when he was about fourteen years old, that he liked boys. Phil had never felt attracted to girls wearing super short skirts and seven inch high heel boots showing off to whoever they could as much as possible.

But the random boy with long slim legs and beautiful smooth skin, he couldn't help but to stare, and think things. It always ended up with him blushing furiously and walking away as quickly as possible from the person in question, usually earning confused glances from the people around him.

 He'd never officially told anyone, by the simple fact that there was no one to actually tell apart from his mum, but people still called him a faggot all through high school. They had probably figured out that calling him by that name would affect him more, make him more miserable and feel more worthless. Well, that's exactly how they'd made him feel.

Sometimes he wished he'd just had a friend, just someone to hug when he felt down. To know that he was cared about, to know that at least someone else than his mum would shed a tear if he were to go. But no. He'd never had an actual friend, and he really wished he did have one, because talking to your mum about how great Muse's new song is, isn't exactly the same as it would be with someone else who'd actually care.

 And it'd usually been one person in particular who had roughly treated Phil like trash during his last few years in highschool. This boy usually went around calling him names everywhere he went and as soon as he was spotted in the school's corridors, walking around with the popular idiots. Phil really wished he'd stood up to him, that he'd talked back, or even tried to punch him in return.

But every time he'd actually had the possibility to do so, he just let himself get beat up verbally, his thoughts of standing up against him getting erased as soon as that stupid boy's voice went through his head. The boy usually just insulted him, but there had been times where he'd get beat up by him. And Phil really hated himself sometimes.

He hated himself so much for finding one of the school's biggest popular twat attractive. That thoughts of how pretty he was popped up in his head, whilst the actual boy in question was beating him to shreds. He really did. But that didn't change how much he despised that horrible person.

 But now, all of that was going to hopefully change. He was starting clean. He would maybe even make some new friends who'd have the same interests as him, now that he was going to college, far away from his old high school, and from that horrible boy. Phil wasn't going to deny that he was a little scared that the same thing would happen all over again, but he'd do his best to make a good first impression. Especially since he was going to a boarding school. And he was going to have a roommate. A male roommate.

  "We're nearly there darling! About ten minutes to go I'd say... Depending on the amount of traffic." Phil's mum told him from the driver's seat on his right in the front of the car, pulling him out of his daydream.

  "Sure mum" he replied. He couldn't help to feel a little more nervous as they got closer to their destination. In less than an hour he'll be staring a complete different lifestyle, with completely new people surrounding him. He was also quite sad about leaving his mum, and he did wish he'd told her about himself before leaving home but he hadn't managed to pluck up the courage to do so.

 Phil looked out the window and stared at all the trees passing by in a green and grey blur, caused by the rain falling onto the glass and on the road. He kind of wished that summer hadn't gone by so fast and earlier than usual, as much as he hated the boiling hot nights and waking up covered in a layer of sticky sweat, he still preferred that than waking up to humid misty mornings with a dull grey sky hanging over his head all day threatening to let big fat rain drops fall to the ground.

But, Phil didn't think the rain was all that bad, he even liked it most of the time. He found it soothing to just walk out in it when he'd have a bad day, as if to wash off all the bad thoughts and memories.

 The trees were now replaced with buildings, and engines from other cars could be heard everywhere. Once the traffic jam they'd been stuck in for the last five minutes had finally disappeared, Phil's mum drove through a few more wide streets and around a last corner, when appeared in the distance a big tall building made out of stone bricks. It was fenced away by some elegant greenish gates followed by a nicely trimmed lawn and a long path leading all the way up to the, from what Phil could see, huge school. Phil's mum parked the car into the school's parking place and turned off the engine.

  "Here we are sweetie! It seems as if the rain's calmed down a little bit now, so I think it's okay to start unpacking your bags from the boot right away."

 His mum got out of the car and started to pull Phil's large suitcase out of the back and onto the ground. Phil couldn't help but to feel a weight in his stomach as he opened the car door and stepped out onto the parking space. Some soft drizzly drips of rain were still falling from the sky, landing lazily onto his dark ebony hair. He walked to the back of the car and took the last few bags from the boot before shutting it and they both walked through the tall gates and onto the path leading to the school's main entrance.

 Phil couldn't see a single person anywhere, he just guessed that they were all in because of the weather. The lawn looked much like the perfect place to have lunch on, on a sunny day, and to just lie down and stare at the clouds. Of course it looked all muddy and wet right now.

 They both arrived at the school's main entrance, two large glass doors, Phil pulling the door open and letting his mum walk in first just as many voices could be heard from inside the building. He gulped as he entered the entrance hall, and he saw people of his age scattered all around the room, some like him heaving suitcases up a set of stairs while saying goodbye to their families, others just hanging out, chatting with their friends in small groups.

 Phil's mum quickly looked at her watch and sighed. "Hey, I'm sorry Philly, but I've really got to go now. I've got a four hour trip back home to do and then I really need to get my work done."

 "Already?" Phil whined. He still hadn't even taken his bags and suitcase upstairs yet. "We've just only stepped in here!" He moaned, but not too loud so no one could here him complain.

 "I'm sorry Phil." She kissed him on the forehead. "But I can't do anything about that."

 She leant forward, letting go of the suitcase she was previously pulling, and they both hugged for a little while. Then she pulled away from him whispering a little "I love you, take care" before opening the wide set of doors, stepping out into the rain and waving, leaving Phil alone in the hallway with people he didn't know.

 Phil walked up to a counter at the far end of the room near a set of stairs where a blonde woman was sitting, giving out a sheet of paper to a curly brown haired boy about his height. He was also wearing black skinny jeans like him and a green hoodie.

 Phil queued up behind him holding his suitcase and bags. He noticed the hallway getting emptier as people were all heading to their dormitories to get settled in. The boy in front suddenly turned around and walked straight into Phil, both of them bumping their heads.

"Owww!" He exclaimed in a surprised voice, rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Wow, you scared me there! Sorry about that."

 "Oh, no, I'm sorry!" Phil answered quite awkwardly and a short silence followed. Well done, great first impression Phil.

 But the other boy took no notice of it and continued "I'm PJ by the way! Like your shirt!" He pointed at the totoro shirt Phil was currently wearing under his opened jacket and he smiled brightly back to the boy. It'd been a long time since he'd actually genuinely smiled to, someone.

 "Oh thanks!" replied Phil, glad that this PJ was all nice with him, and that he also knew about totoro. "My name's Phil, well Philip really, but I do prefer just Phil." Maybe making friends wasn't that hard after all, if he just tried a little. That's when he noticed how breathtaking this boy's eyes were, such a deep green, it seem as if he was reading his mind.

 Suddenly Phil heard a "HuuumHuum" to his left and they both turned to see the blonde lady staring at them expectantly.

"You better get your room number now, I'll wait for you here." PJ whispered and gave him a small cornered smile.

Phil nodded and walked to the counter in front of the woman and muttered a barely audible "excuse me", and the woman asked in a high pitched voice as if she was edging exhaustion "Name please."

  "Philip Lester" he answered. The woman then typed his name in the computer and nodded her head, then she seized a sheet of paper off the top of a stack to her right. "Okay, so here's the map of the school, if ever you need it. But I doubt you should after staying here for a couple of weeks." She handed over the sheet to Phil.

"So, this is your room number, don't forget it before getting there. It's room 305, on the third floor of the boys dormitories, which are just up that set of stairs behind you. And if you ever wish to get there a little faster for an important reason, you can always use the lift to your right." She pointed her finger in that direction and continued. "But only for emergencies, or if you are already late and forgot something upstairs." She smiled at him, and crossed out something from a notepad, presumably his name, and looked back up at him, as if to indicate that she'd finished talking to him.

 "And, um, does it say who my roommate is, please?" Phil continued, wanting to at least know his name before meeting him.

"Oh, yes, completely forgot to tell you that. Let me see... Ah, yes, his name is, Daniel Howell. He shall be your roommate for this year." As soon as Phil heard the woman pronounce the boy's name, his face fell, and he felt his stomach drop. No, not Dan, not stupid Dan Howell, the person who had bullied him and had thrown countless insults at his face throughout the whole past few years of his existence. Not the one who'd made him feel like utter crap so many times. The person he'd thought he'd never ever see again by coming to this boarding school. How was Phil going to cope with seeing him for an entire year, let alone cope with him being his roommate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really don't know what to think about this haha, but I'm sorry if it's not written properly, or that some expressions don't really make much sense (or that it's simply not well written) but, hey, I've never been to an English school, so my vocabulary is probably limited ^^. 
> 
> (I'm not assuring an upload soon, sorry!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so look who's back after a long time... Sorry! ^^ Anyway, here's the second chapter! Once again, enjoy....?

Phil turned his back to the lady at the desk after letting out a small thank you, and reluctantly walked up to PJ, almost forgetting to grab his bags and suitcase on the way.

"Hey, is everything all right? You seem to have turned from a shinny ray of sunshine to a depressed turtle in his nineties" PJ exclaimed when he saw the miserable look plastered on Phil's face as he approached him, both heading towards the staircase.

Phil quickly debated if he should tell the curly haired boy about Dan Howell, the person who used to bully him non stop less than a few months ago, but decided against it, remembering how this was supposed to be a new and fresh start. A new life without any of that previous crap. And he also really didn't want PJ to run away saying how lame he was (even though that would probably never happen) because he seemed like a pretty nice guy who'd, after what he'd already seen, seemed to have the same interests as him.

He decided to just tell him half of what was on his mind.

"Hey! I don't look that bad do I!" he laughed half heartedly in reply, avoiding PJ's grassy gaze. "I guess I was just told who my roommate is going to be for the rest of the year, a freaking asshole from my previous school, so, yeah."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear about that." PJ replied his smile fading a little. "Unfortunately, we can't change who you get to stay with here, unless it gets, like, really bad. But we haven't even started lessons yet, so I doubt they'll say yes about you changing rooms." PJ smiled a little at Phil before continuing.

"And who knows, maybe somehow you'll find that you like him in a way or another. But, yeah, I do kinda know what it's like to have those kind of, horrible people, in your life bugging you all the time..." PJ's gaze became a little unfocused as if some locked off memories, the bad type, had suddenly resurfaced into his mind.

Phil, who felt guilty as soon as he saw the curly haired boy's face drop, quickly blurted out, "Well, at least I'll be able to stay with you!" before realizing what he'd actually just told him. What if he'd just been too fast in this whole friendship thing and PJ didn't want to be his friend yet?

"If that's okay of course, I mean you seem to like the same stuff as me and you look pretty nice enough, personality wise I meant, but that doesn't mean you don't look good of course, and I mean I'm perfectly okay with you not wan-"

"Hey, Phil! Calm down okay? Of course I'm fine with us hanging out! Why wouldn't I?" PJ laughed lightly back at him, and Phil immediately calmed down and grinned back, glad at how PJ'd responded (and mentally angry at himself about how he sometimes talked too much when he was panicked).

They both headed up the staircase with great difficulty. Phil noticed, and also PJ by the look of it, that the two of them seemed to have realised that heaving a suitcase up a set of stairs while trying to hold onto many bags and backpacks at the same time was not such an easy task at it first appeared to be.

Once they had reached the second floor, having only one left to get to their dormitories on the third floor, both of them were a panting mess. By that time, Phil had forgotten all about who he was actually going to have to deal with in a matter of mere hours, or even minutes. PJ and Phil both agreed on taking a break of a couple of minutes to catch their breaths. A few drops of sweat could be seen on PJ's forehead, slowly gliding down, thus he quickly wiped them away with the end of his sleeves. Next to him, Phil was bending over, his hands on his knees, letting out rapid exhales and inhales of air.

Anyone who would've passed by those two boys at that moment would've probably thought that both of them had never set foot on a running track in their lives, which was actually, probably the case.

"Jeez, at this rate I'd say we probably have the physical ability of a constipated toad" Phil said aloud, earning a small chuckle from PJ at his right.

"Or of a overweight obese seal" he said back.

They both got caught in a small fit of giggles, Phil imagining various scenarios of seals and toads all trying to work out and doing exercise in gyms.

"We really do like to compare stupid things to animals, don't we?" PJ said, a wide smile drawn across his face once he'd finally got his breathing back into a normal enough pattern.

"We sure do!" Phil laughed back, happy that they had such a weird thing in common, animal comparisons. "Man, I really wish I was a little more fit and had the courage to exercise more to be honest, but I really do prefer endlessly browsing tumblr than running around getting all sweaty at 6 am," he continued.

"I absolutely get the feeling" PJ replied back, a sideways grin appearing once again across his face towards Phil's direction.

Phil wasn't going to deny that it was really nice having PJ as company, even if they had literally just know each other for less than an hour. He was really enjoying the new feeling of laughing around with someone that he could actually, and hopefully, now call his friend. He really wished that he could've found someone like that when he was a little younger, someone who would've seen him for what he really was and not just what everyone told each other, based on rumors and 'apparentlys'. And Phil also found it a little sad that he had only just befriended PJ (or been befriended by him?) because he knew nothing about him beforehand. That could actually prove how rumors could change everything about someone's life and how people reacted towards them. But nonetheless, that tingly little sensation he was feeling right now, was more than he'd hoped for when coming here. 

Phil suddenly snapped out of his interior monologue and started gathering his things again. He and PJ both finished picking up their suitcases, backpacks and bags off the floor, awkwardly putting them onto their backs and in their hands once again, and started climbing up the last set of stairs Phil being in the lead.

After climbing a dozen of steps, two figures appeared in the opposite direction, seemingly descending the stairs, and, Phil not being able to get out of the way in time, collided head first into the person in front. He ended up tumbling backwards, emitting a small gasp.

As a reflex, he grabbed onto what was closest to him; the black T-shirt that the person he'd unintentionally walked into was wearing. His hand holding tightly on the material, they both fell to the ground in a loud thud, Phil letting out a loud groan while the other shrieked out before falling on top of him with a thump.

"Oooow, fuck!" The teenager, now recognisable as a boy, muttered annoyingly, loud enough for all four of them to hear. A couple of steps lower, PJ was trying to hide his laughter by picking up some of the fallen bags at their side. Phil was currently trying to get rid of a brown mop of straightened hair that was threatening to send him into a fit of giggles too, thanks to it tickling his neck. But that ended fast enough as the brown haired boy lifted his head up and stared straight into Phil's eyes, first with a threatening glare, turning straight after that into a surprised look, and finally one of disgust.

Phil's expression went practically through the same amount of changes. He was first shocked, a thought of 'What the heck is he doing here?' crossing his mind, then his expression turning into a mixture of fright and uncomfortableness, as he realized why Dan Howell was here, and that this was not a great start to their 'roommate' relationship. He was quite disturbed, once again, at how close they were, Dan's coffee brown eyes staring straight into his. He couldn't help to think how beautiful they looked, but as soon as he realized what thoughts were actually crossing his mind he quickly averted his gaze, breaking their eye contact and his cheeks turning a suspiciously red colour. Seriously, he thought, why was this idiot so attractive?

Dan lifted himself off of Phil to stand back up next to his other friend, and he was quite surprised to also find on the brunette's cheeks a noticeable shade of pink, maybe a little darker than normal. Phil pushed that thought aside, thinking it was just the dim lighting in the staircase, probably because of the sunset happening outside, playing tricks on his tanned skin. Then Dan started speaking, and Phil forgot about everything he was thinking of beforehand, the boy's harsh voice slicing through all his thoughts.

"Why the hell are you here, Lester?" he glared at Phil, hands in his, really skinny now that Phil had noticed, black jean pockets. On his face was now a look of pure annoyance and fake, how would Phil describe it, arrogant superiority would be quite close.

Phil, did what he thought he'd never be doing in a thousand years; standing up to Dan. Maybe it was PJ's presence or maybe the need to prove himself worthy in front of him, according to all of his 'new fresh start' theory. Whatever the reason, he replied back. "Well, what d'ya think you idiot? To visit around maybe? Or just to get my ass get kicked by you personally once again?"

The look of surprise that was suddenly reflected in his eyes was priceless to Phil. He could clearly see that his reply was unpredicted. Even the other brown haired boy behind him, PJ and himself looked a little shocked at his response. Dan immediately regained his composure though.

"Yeah, well I don't wanna see your gay ass anywhere near me okay? Who knows, maybe we'll all end up catching it thanks to you," he laughed bitterly, and with a smirk on his lips he started to turn and descend a few steps before noticing PJ standing there.

"Oh, it looks like Lester found himself another faggot friend. How wonderful. Just what this world needed. Come on, let's get out of here Chris, no need to stay with these two useless pieces of crap any longer than we need to."

Chris, who seemed to have come to a halt and started to stare as soon as he had seen PJ, turned around nervously and followed Dan down the staircase. PJ was still gazing at the boy with, what was probably wonder. Phil got up, rubbing his soar back, collected the rest of his belongings and looked at PJ, who only just seemed to have regained his awareness, as if he'd just come straight back from another planet somewhere far away from the present.

"Hey, sorry about that PJ..." Phil started.

"Oh, no worries, I just wasn't expecting such a reaction from you just bumping into him. Well, I guess you literally pulled him onto you, okay that sounded weird, but still."

Phil chuckled a little. Then PJ seemed to realize something. "Wait, please don't tell me that's your future roommate..."

Phil nodded, making an exaggerated sad face and PJ a theatrical shocked expression while making wild hand gestures, covering his mouth as if horrified. "Yep, he's going to be in for a nice surprise when he comes back up."

"And you're going to be in for a hell of a year, from what I've just seen," adds PJ, tapping lightly on Phil's back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! So, I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to tell me what you think about it! ^^ Feedback is appreciates :D  
> Sorry if you don't get an update soon though, I'm not very good at keeping schedules (what an excuse).  
> And thank you to everyone who left a kudo, and a comment too, I wasn't expecting that much on this! ^-^ Okay, bye now


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! I'm really sorry for taking so much time and making you wait so long! So here's the third chapter! Hope you enjoy it! ^-^

PJ and Phil headed up the last set of stairs that led to their destination, glad when they finally reached the third floor. They were at the end of a corridor that continued on their left, and with a large window, to their right, allowing the sight of the beautiful green valleys, forests and trees, bathing under the last minutes of sunset to be seen. The sky was pink and the last rays of sunshine were turning the leaves on the trees into a deeper shade of gold than they already were. A nice feeling took over Phil as he relaxed a little, PJ, his now new friend, standing next to him looking out the window as well.

"What a shame my camera's at the bottom of my suitcase, this would make a such a wonderful picture" PJ stated in a thoughtful tone. 

"I'm sure it would" Phil replied almost inaudibly, his eyes gazing over the plants and branches surrounding fields, swaying in the wind. He hadn't expected this place to be so big, and maybe a little intimidating with it's outside stone walls towering over everything, and the gates surrounding the gigantic place, but the beauty that the gardens and the countryside all around the establishment seemed to have, really made up to it. In the distance he could see a football field with running tracks around it, and what also appeared to be a sports hall. Phil quickly look away from there, glad that he wasn't going to have to do any sport anymore, but not really wanting to think about all the previous times he had had to.

PJ, as if suddenly remembering something, hastily let go of his suitcase and reached his free hand into his right pocket, removing his phone a few moments later. Phil heard a flashing noise, and then a slight chuckle coming from the curly haired boy. "Well, not bad, better than nothing" he grinned to himself his eyes gazing over his screen.

"Oh, it's already getting quite late, dinner will probably start in about an hour" he then stated, his attention turning to Phil, who was still glancing at the outside view. "We should probably head to our rooms to start unpacking."

Phil nodded his head in agreement and they both started to walk through the long corridor, their footsteps echoing through the corridor and on the walls along with them. Phil's mind wandered back to what had just happened. Dan still seemed as awful and vulgar as before, but he had also seemed a little more, reluctant, maybe? He just hadn't looked as eager to put him down and insult him. Or maybe it was just Phil's imagination, he really didn't know anymore. After all Phil had pulled him down onto the floor with him... And that other brown haired boy, Chris was it? Phil hadn't seen him before in his previous school, let alone around Dan. Phil wondered who he was. The boy hadn't said anything to both of them, not even to Dan. He hadn't insulted or laughed at Phil nastily. But he hadn't defended Phil either. It seemed hard to believe that he too would bully people. He'd also looked at PJ quite closely, and now that Phil thought about it, so had his friend in return. Maybe they knew each other from somewhere.

"Hey PJ, do you know who that boy was back there with Dan?" Phil broke the silence and looked over at the green eyed boy to his left. 

"No...No I don't. He did seem, a little out of place next to Dan... He doesn't really seem like the kind of person to bully anyone, does he..." PJ stumbled upon his words as he replied to Phil avoiding his gaze. But Phil made no notice of it, not wanting to push PJ as he saw the unease in his voice. 

PJ suddenly stopped next to a door to their left and read the number placed next to it. "Well, this is my stop!" He smiles back at Phil.

"Wanna meet in the cafeteria in an hour?" Phil asked, even though he already knew what the answer would probably turn out to be.

"Sure! But I'll maybe ask my roommate to come too, if he turns out to be nice enough of course, I still don't know who he is! I forgot to ask the lady at the counter earlier. If that's okay with you of curse, I don't want to it to be uneasy for you or anything."PJ smiled brightly at Phil, a look of sincerity in his green eyes.

"Yeah, that seems great! And don't worry about me, bring whoever you wish!" Phil replied, glad that PJ seemed to genuinely cared about him.

After rapidly helping PJ to open his own door due to the amount of difficulty their bags and suitcases were causing them, Phil said goodbye and headed once again up the corridor, searching for his room number. He walked past a few people on his way, some of them completely ignoring him and some others smiling lightly back at him in a polite manner. That made Phil feel a little better, it looked as if most people had overcome the mentality that usually reigned over everyone in high school. 

Phil finally reached his dorm door on his right, number 305, that was at least ten rooms away from PJ's, and he managed to open it after struggling with it's handle. He slipped through the doorway, and shut the door behind him before letting his bags and suitcase fall to the floor next to him, and looked around the room, not really knowing what to expect.

To his right was a white door that probably led to the shower and toilet, and next to it was an empty bed with clean unused sheets, and behind that was also a desk with nothing on it. Presumably Phil's. He then glanced to the left side of the room where Dan's bed was against the wall. Phil gasped, eyes wide when he spotted band posters like Muse and FOB and also Guild Wars on the wall next to his bed, that had a closed laptop placed on top of it. Since when did that idiot like the same music as him? Dan's desk already had a few items like schoolbooks and pencils scattered on it. But when Phil looked at the back of the room, his eyes shot wide open surprise. Against the wall at back of the room was a flat screen TV with game consoles and many different video games and controllers placed neatly next to it. There was also a comfy looking grey sofa standing in front of the TV. 

Phil just momentarily stood there wondering why on earth there was a TV in the room. The rules clearly stated that only laptops or computers were aloud, for the simple use of studying and maybe to relax a little. Not that Phil was complaining about it of course. He decided to try and ask his roommate how he'd managed to have a TV in the room if he managed to pluck up as much courage as he did when he replied to him earlier. 

For now Phil concentrated on unpacking his suitcase and belongings and placing them in his wardrobe and nightstand. Once he'd put all his clothes away and possessions on his desk and bedside table, including some books and a photo of his family, he decided it'd be good for him to get a shower before meeting PJ in the cafeteria for dinner. Phil walked over to his wardrobe to fetch a white towel and his hairdryer and opened the door to the bathroom before turning the light switch on. It was actually quite a spacious bathroom, the floor was covered in shiny white tiles just like the walls all around the room. It was a lot better than what Phil had come to expect, especially for a school.

He removed his clothes and hopped into the shower. He turned the water on and felt himself being covered in warmth, making him suddenly feel relaxed and a lot less tense than he previously was. He reflected on his day so far. He'd made a friend, he'd been told that none other than Dan Howell was going to be his roommate for the rest of the year, bumped into him and literally made him fall on top of Phil all to realize that he had the exact same, maybe a little nerdy, interests as him, from what he'd seen on his walls, may it be his band posters pinned to his wall or his Final Fantasy video games.

Phil wondered why Dan had bullied him all those previous years for liking such things, if he also liked them too? This was getting quite confusing for Phil. Maybe he wasn't such the bad guy as he tried to make himself look. No. He's just a mean self centered idiot. A really hot and cute self centered idiot, the irrational part of his mind corrected him. No, nope, nopety nope, Phil immediately thought back to himself. Well, after all, it was the truth... But he really didn't want those inappropriate thoughts popping up in his head every time his mind wandered over to that coffee eyed boy twat.

Once Phil finished showering, he wrapped his white towel around his waist and plugged his hairdryer in. When he'd finished drying his dark ebony hair and checking that his fringe looked acceptable, he walked out of the bathroom an turned the lights off, still clothed with only a towel. He had only taken a few steps into the room before realizing that something didn't feel quite right. He looked up and froze. He saw that a figure was laying on his tummy across the bed opposite his, staring at Phil completely wide eyed and surprised, his mouth slightly agape. Shit. Dan. 

Phil hadn't thought that he'd be back so soon, it hadn't even crossed his mind to get dressed in the bathroom. How could've he been so stupid? He stared back at Dan, apparently as shocked as him, as he turned a bright shade of red, feeling more and more embarrassed by the second. He was being to self conscious to even notice the slight pink shade that had also spread across the other boy's face. 

Dan suddenly turned away, looking a little flustered. "Well, don't just stand there half naked, hope you don't expect me to fricking suck you off or something?!"he said annoyingly, his fringe hiding the expression on his face. 

Phil quickly mumbled something incomprehensible and rushed over to his wardrobe to fetch some clothes trying to hide his face behind his hair. Once his clothes in hand he hurried back into the bathroom and quickly shut the door behind him. He turned the light on once again and sat on the floor, his bare back against the door. He'd just let Dan, stupid Dan Howell see him half naked getting out of the shower. He felt so embarrassed and exposed. Phil laughed halfheartedly to himself in frustration and let out a deep breath. He got back up and picked his clothes off the floor next to him. He changed into them taking his time and folded the old ones into a pile on top of his towel and took them in his hands. 

Phil really didn't want to go back out there into the bedroom. But he couldn't stay in the bathroom for the rest of his life. If only he could... Phil opened the door and turned the light off once again for the third time, his cheeks still burning brightly. He wandered over to his wardrobe as quickly as he could to put the dirty pile of clothes at the bottom of it, not stealing a single glance in Dan's direction. Once he'd done that, he awkwardly walked back to his bed and silently sat onto his now blue and green sheets. He grabbed his phone off the top of his bedside cabinet, having nothing else to do, and checked the time. It was getting quite late, and he only had fifteen minutes left until he had to meet PJ back down in the cafeteria. That was fifteen minutes too much in Phil's opinion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I'd like to thank the people who've left kudos on this work, and especially the ones who have left a comment, it really does mean a lot to me! :) I really don't when I'll be uploading next, since school has started gain for me, but I'll try to as soon as I can! ^^


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm so sorry for the long delay, but here's another chapter. Hope you like it ^-^

Phil was finding it hard to to just lay there on his bed clutching his phone while being in the same room as Dan. The awkward tension, hanging in the air over their heads, was gradually becoming harder and harder for him to cope with. The palm of his hands were turning moist and sweaty, something that he hated but that always happened to him when he was stressed out. All his body was tense and his muscles were rigid. He had to calm down, Phil told himself trying to reassure himself. After all, if he was going to sleep and live half of his time spent at this school in the boy's company, it would really be best to talk with him now, sort something out or do anything really. He just wanted something to happen to make this awkward silence stop, because he really didn't want it to last any longer, let alone for all his time being here as it really was making Phil feel uneasy .

Phil took his eyes off his phone's screen, still not really knowing what he was going to do yet, and glanced, albeit a little hesitantly, at Dan who was still laying flat on his tummy on his bed opposite Phil's. And once again Phil found himself mildly surprised; Dan was on his laptop, nothing out of the ordinary, but he was also scrolling through tumblr, looking at cat pictures, anime gifs, silly memes and some pokémon fanart . Phil didn't know why this had him startled as such, after all many people knew about tumblr. He just didn't think that... that Dan was that type of person. And there also was the fact that Dan's dashboard was literally composed of the same posts as Phil's. Maybe he isn't that bad after all...

Phil thought he could maybe try and make some conversation starting from there, so he tried his hardest to think of a way to say hey me too I love cats anime and bands please don't hate and bully me. Unfortunately his inspiration didn't seem to be present that day. He stayed there for at least a minute trying to come up with something to tell or ask his roommate, without wanting to seem annoying, or even just something that wouldn't end up with the brown haired boy telling him to bugger off.

Phil was so focused that he internally jumped when Dan's head suddenly turned around and looked straight at him, a look of annoyance and impatience plastered onto his face. Phil, who just realised in that moment that he'd kept staring at Dan for an inappropriate amount of time, felt his blood pump a little faster in his cheeks, which were probably a deeper shade of pink. With a great amount of effort he managed to keep his gazed fixed on Dan's, not wanting to seem too shameful despite his nervousness. 

It looked as if Dan had also expected Phil to look away, and since he hadn't, the two boys' eyes locked in a strange manner. They both fell into this weird silence that seemed to last forever, but that was actually only a matter of a couple of seconds. Phil's heartbeat picked up a little speed, even though he really had no idea why. Then Dan spoke to him, bitterly braking the silence surrounding them.

"What are you looking at?"

Phil was taken aback by his tone of voice, but decided to ignore it and tried to comply with his previous intentions.

"Mm well, actually, I noticed you that you seem to like Muse and Fall Out Boy. They are both some of my favourite bands too you know," Phil told him, hoping for somewhat of a positive response.

Dan replied, his face turning into a surprised look for just a second before regaining it's annoyed features. "Well, good for you." Well, Phil had certainly put his hopes up too high. "But that still doesn't explain why your eyes were freakishly fixed to my back does it?"

Dan raised his eyebrows expectantly, his pink lips turning upwards into a slight smirk and his expression changing from annoyed to amused. But not the friendly kind of amusement. He was basically just wearing a smug expression of mock. Why Phil found him extremely appealing for a moment, with his honey brown eyes, smooth tanned skin and lopsided smile, he really didn't want to know.

"Uum, well, I was... I was just ab-," Phil started, but was soon cut off by the other.

"You were totally just checking me out you mean. Please, just keep your gayness to yourself!" he laughed out. Phil flinched at what he just said. "I mean, if I'd known I was having a roommate, let alone a total loser like you, never in a lifetime I would've accepted so easily to come here if it weren't for my dad being the school's head principal" he finished, realising what he'd said last and suddenly not looking too happy about it. Apparently he had not particularly wanted that information to slip, but nonetheless he kept glaring towards the dark haired boy.

By the time Dan had finished his sentence, Phil had become extremely annoyed at Dan for insulting him like he just did. He also didn't really want to admit to himself, but words sometimes seemed to affect him emotionally, and the ones than Dan had just said to him, they had hurt a little. Phil had only been trying to be nice or start a conversation, but of course Dan had to insist on why he had been absentmindedly staring at him, which was clearly an accident... Anyway, Phil was mostly annoyed.

He also had his question as to why there was a huge TV in the back of the room near the window answered. No wonder Dan was such a self centered idiot, his parents probably bought him everything he asks for and let him do he wants. And concerning the fact that his dad was the principal of the place only meant he'd have it easy when it came to skipping class or getting into trouble. In this case it would probably be harassing others. But maybe the principal was strict, maybe on Dan too? That idea seemed highly improbable to Phil. But after all what did he know about that twat's personal life.

In response to what Dan had just said, Phil decided just to glare straight back at him, ignoring the urge to just retreat under his bed covers or to run straight out the room out of embarrassment. 

Dan chuckled one last time before turning around and continued scrolling through his dashboard. Phil quickly turned his phone back on to check the time and noted that he was about five minutes late to meet PJ. He quickly fetched his shoes off the floor next to the side of his bed and put them on. Once his laces were fastened, he got up, pocketed his phone and walked towards the door in front.

Of course, Dan had to bum in. "Bye then....Have fun with tour only little gay friend, Lester!" he smirked. 

Phil lowered his head to look at his shoes distractedly while opening the door and stepping out of the dorm room and into the corridor. But before shutting the door, he decided that if Dan was being a little shit with him, he also had every reason to be one too.

"Fuck you you twat! No one ever asked you to comment at everything I freaking do or say! Now keep your own business to yourself! You..You asshole!" Phil retorted straight at Dan, his voice louder than it usually was and maybe a little shaky.

Dan's eyes shot wide open in surprise, but then anger burned on his face, that seemed to be turning redder. Phil quickly shut the dorm door just as the angry flushed boy in the room had looked as if he was about to shout or scream something at Phil, or just simply murder him, and so he ran through the corridor as fast as he could, fearing to hear the sound of a door slamming open behind him, and Phil nearly tripped over his own feet once he'd reached the stairs. He slowed down his pace once he was sure that there was no murderous Dan Howell following him and he then started to walk down the stairs. What he'd just done for the second time that day began to sink in and become a lot clearer. 

First, he had just talked back to Dan Howell and actually tried to defend himself for the second time, secondly, he used swear words to actually insult somebody. That was something Phil hardly did at all, and he was quite shocked himself about how he'd just said such things to Dan. And lastly, he probably just got involved into something he had really wanted to avoid by coming here. Insulting a so called bully like that, and just running away after slamming a door in their face was not something many people would dare to do. It was certainly going to cause some consequences. So Phil now had a much bigger reason to avoid Dan.

Phil didn't really know where all these bursts of confidence, if you could call them as so, were coming from either. If only I had acted like that a few times in the last couples of years, he thought to himself, I would've been in some bigger trouble, but I would've definitely been a little more conent with myself. Phil could imagine his younger self, retorting back to Dan and seeing his unexpected expression of shock, and in front of all of his friends too. If only that had happened...

Once Phil had finished descending the stairs and reached the ground floor, a little out of breath as he had still been going down a little faster than he usually would, he realised that the map of the place that that woman at the desk had given to him about an hour ago, had been left untouched in his room. He hadn't thought about taking it at the time. Since he'd been far too preoccupied about not embarrassing himself any further in front off Dan... And in many cases, by Dan.

Phil looked around the hall he was now in; the desk from earlier where the woman had been sitting was currently empty, dim lights were hanging from the ceiling casting grey shadows in the corners of the room, and you could hardly see anything through the glass entrance doors to Phil's left because of how dark it had become outside, the sun being completely settled in for the day. There was absolutely no one to be seen in the room which made Phil a little anxious, even though he would probably be even more stressed out if there were.

In front of him to the left of the desk was a long corridor, and there was also another one to his right. He decided to take the first option as the second one seemed more likely to lead to classrooms and to the back of the building where the gardens were. So Phil started walking forwards through the hall and into the dim lit corridor with white walls. It had many doors aligned to the right, and a few windows to the left. At the end he arrived to a set of grey double doors that he then pushed open, and he was led into another corridor, that was a little brighter than the one he was in before. This one extended to his right and left, and there was another set of doors in front of him. There were a few people hanging out at both ends of the corridor, either on their phones or chatting with one another, but Phil guessed that those double doors probably didn't lead to the cafeteria because of the lack of noise.

Phil must've looked a little confused or lost, because a few seconds later a girl that had been leaning against the wall a few meters away looked up from her phone and walked up to Phil, a sweet and honest smile on her face.

"Hey there! Are you looking for something?" she said in a voice that reminded Phil a little of warmth and happiness. "Because you look kinda look like a lost puppy or something," she giggled nicely.

The young girl looked about his age, maybe a year or two older than him. She had long blonde hair that was curly and dyed a bright pink at the tips. she was also smaller than him, which caused her to have to tilt her head up slightly to be able to see him properly.

"Uum, yeah actually," Phil started, still not too sure as to why she was willing to help, but still glad nonetheless. "Do you know where the cafeteria is by any chance?" he asked.

"Yes of course, do you want me to take you there?" she asked him brightly.

"Oh you don't have to bother you know!" Phil immediately said back, not wanting to cause the girl any trouble.

"Oh don't worry about me, I'm quite bored anyway. Oh, and a little hungry too, so I'll have something to nible if I go there!" she exclaimed a little excitedly. "Oh, and also, I'm Louise by the way." She started walking to the right and Phil followed her.

"I'm Phil," he told her, quite happy about how nice Louise was being towards him. "And, I'm just wondering, what is behind those doors down there?"

"Ah that's the library, it's always quite quiet around here and the librarian is a little strict, but really nice once you get to know her, she's really friendly!" Louise answered.

"I see, so this is not your first year studying here then?" Phil demanded, genuinely interested about her.

"It's my second year staying here," she confirmed. "I was also confused about how big the place was when I first arrived!" she laughed. "But once you get used to the place is does feel quite homey and welcoming! Take the gardens behind the school, for example. They are just wonderful! Have you seen them yet?" she asked.

"Not yet," Phil replied. "But I would really like too! I'll probably do that tomorrow as it's far too dark right now."

"You definitely should!" she exclaimed happily. "The smell there is just gorgeous."

Phil nodded his head in agreement. His spirits had been raised a little higher thanks to Louise, and most thoughts about Dan had been pushed to the back of his mind. They both continued down corridors, most of them empty because of all the students were either in their dorm rooms or having supper. They finally arrived at a stop in front of two more big doors. Louise led Phil through them and they found themselves in another corridor, but this one seemed to detach itself from the main building. The walls were made out of glass, and Phil supposed that it must be quite nice to come through here when it was daytime.

They advanced trough it, their footsteps echoing throughout the structure, and arrived at a final set of doors identical to all the other double ones he'd seen around the school in the last few hours. Louise pushed them open and Phil found himself hearing voices from all around the big room he'd just entered. He gasped a looking around him. He had definitely not expected the cafeteria to look like this.

"Tadaa!" Louise declared, seeming content about the way Phil looked surprised and a little in awe. The room looked more like a giant conservatory. Just like the corridor they had both previously walked through, the walls were all made out of glass. There were many tables scattered around with students eating and laughing, some is big groups and others in smaller ones. 

"Well, I've gotta say I'm kind of impressed by this" he uttered to Louise. She answered him with a smile and added "Now come on, I'm getting hungrier by the minute from all the walking to get here!"

The black haired boy let out a little giggle and followed her towards the food, grabbing a tray and queuing up behind behind Louise. He glanced around the room looking for PJ. After a few minutes of search he spotted him at a table against a glass wall in one of the corners of the big room, looking as if he was in a world of his own, his eyes dreamily focused on something outside. Phil couldn't see the expression on his face because of the angle he was in, but he noted that the curly haired boy was sitting alone.

Louise and Phil grabbed something to eat and, then she asked Phil if he minded her sitting with him.

"Yeah sure Louise!" Phil smiled. "But I hope you don't mind if we eat with someone else too?"

"Of course I don't mind! So, who are they then?" she asked looking quite curious.

Phil pointed at the table in the corner where PJ still seemed to be daydreaming and started speaking "PJ. It's that curly haired boy leaning against the wall, um window, thing," he stuttered, not really knowing what to call the structure.

"PJ? That's a nice and original name," she stated happily and they headed towards the boy in question, Louise leading the way. Phil noted that she really seemed to be the embodiment of joy.

When they both arrived at the table, Louise took a seat next to PJ, who at first was a little surprised by their sudden appearances and then looked a little confused at the girl sitting next to him, who was looking like she had just been offered a handful of candy. Phil sat down in front of PJ with an amused smile on his face. 

"Took you long enough," PJ laughed at Phil when they were all seated and settled down. "And who do I owe the honor to?" he then said in an exaggerated tone as he turned to look at Louise, which ended up with her bursting out a couple of giggles.

"Louise, and I already know you, little Peej..!" she laughed at the bad rhyme she'd just done, PJ snorting at how bad it was with Phil giggling along too.

"Well, I've got to say that's the first time I've heard such a thing!" PJ gasped.

Phil felt happy with these people. He really hadn't expected to find friends so fast, and he was really glad about it. This feeling was quite new to him, and he couldn't deny that he was loving every moment of it. He knew that they would help him endure Dan's harassment. And Phil promised himself to make sure he'd help them back in the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hoped you liked it and didn't find it too boring! I know not much is happening for now, but I'll try and make it better! :) And I'm SO sorry for all the time it took me to do this! Like you guys who commented thank you so much! You really make my day! :D But, you see, life happened and yeah, it took me some time! Okay then hopefully you'll still be here next time, if there is one ^^

**Author's Note:**

> So, I really don't know what to think about this haha, but I'm sorry if it's not written properly, or that some expressions don't really make much sense (or that it's simply not well written) but, hey, I've never been to an English school, so my vocabulary is probably limited ^^. 
> 
> (I'm not assuring an upload soon, sorry!)


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